The excerpts below are from the book
we are writing.
THE SOUL GROUP ~
It was at this point, I started looking around more. I didn’t see beautiful
landscapes, there was just the light. But the light in itself was the most
beautiful vision you can imagine. I wasn’t wanting for anything else to look at.
Yet, in the light, I noticed three other light fragments that became
brighter. They had silhouette shapes. Not clearly defined but I recognized them
as other beings. It seemed like they were separating themselves from the light
and coming to me. As they did, I could sense them projecting “welcome home” as
if we were family and that there was joy in our reunion. I never had those
strong feelings in life. This felt stronger and more binding than anything
I had experienced in my life. I was now home, together with these beings. Since
then, I have come to call them my Soul Group or Soul Family.
They were so excited to be there and to see me. I can not express enough how
they felt like family to me. I just knew I was home, and it felt so wonderful.
They were supporting me and helping me by projecting waves of love and
compassion. I was overcome with joy and the feeling of finally belonging
somewhere and not isolated anymore. Beyond the original three, there were more
light beings coming and joining us. They didn't really communicate, at least not
in a way that you and I are accustomed to. There were maybe a dozen in all. Some
of them were behind others so I couldn’t see them as clearly as the ones closest
to me, but they were all around me. These others were like family, but not as
close as the first three. The first three were the prominent ones, like best
friends or immediate family.
THE LIFE REVIEW ~
I got the feeling from all of them, simultaneously, that as a group we needed to
move over to this other area. They didn’t communicate this with words, I just
had an understanding. It was as if we entered a sphere. Once this sphere was
completely around us, I started to experience my life. I got to experience it in
a way that is very difficult to explain. It was as if I was looking at it from
inside out, from other people’s perspectives. This view was wondrous and
wonderful. The depth of the life review was incredible and ineffable. I'll try
to put words to it so that you may envision it. I like to say it was
all-encompassing but that falls short as an explanation.
The review moved along fairly sequentially. But, I could see multiple effects
and ripples, from my original actions and reactions, all at the same time moving
beyond the area of the sphere. Not only were they images, but I also experienced
feelings. I could sense the feelings of others and how my actions in this life
had touched them. I could feel the joy, happiness, heartaches, disappointments,
and love. I felt all of their emotions in regard to my actions.
I have difficulty explaining the intensity, speed and the flow because
everything was flowing continuously in my life review. It was distracting
because I could also feel that my Soul Family was excited to be here and to get
to experience this along with me.
There were parts of my life review that I wished that they didn’t have to see. I
didn’t want to have to admit things that I had done. They didn’t judge it, not
even the parts that were sorrowful, suffering or things I was not too proud of.
They were merely observing it.
Beyond the group’s support, I was also aware of the consciousness of the Light.
When I think of God, I think of this consciousness of the Light. It almost
seemed like there were billions and billions of Souls attached to that
consciousness. I had a complete understanding of it when I was there, but now it
is beyond my definition. I can tell you this. It was observing, supporting and
an incredibly loving constant during my experience.
Along with not having a physical body, I was there without my life’s drama
wrapped around me. All the fiction I had created in my life of who I thought I
should be was stripped away because the consciousness of the Light knew me
better than I knew myself. I experienced my true self.
I felt as though I was reviewing my life so that I might grow and evolve from
this life’s experience. I was surprised that some of the things I had done had
taken on so much importance because when they actually happened it didn’t feel
that critical. But they took on a bigger significance in the life review once I
saw the after affects, especially how my actions affected others.
In life we are always thinking about leaving a mark and trying to make our life
matter. The accomplishments we think are important, like building something that
will live beyond us or getting a promotion aren’t necessarily the things that
are going to be the most important in our life review.
Excited is such a limited word to describe the reaction from my group of beings
as we viewed this experience. They didn’t have any judgment pro or con. They
seemed to relish the experience. I learned that what is more important than
focusing on these grand plans of leaving a mark is to try to live your life, day
by day, the best you can. Cherish your experiences, good and bad, big and small.
Try to be as helpful, compassionate and loving as you physically can.
Suddenly the images and feelings changed, I was being shown images that were not
from the life I had just left. I had no reference to them and that really
confused and disoriented me. My Soul Group continued supporting me during this,
not with words, but with thoughts of immeasurable love and compassion.
That is when I heard a clear, distinct voice that didn’t feel like it came from
my group. It felt like it came from the light itself. I just focused on this
voice. I stopped paying attention to what was going on in the sphere and the
group. I became focused on this incredible loving voice that told me
“This is not your time, you have to return.”
When I heard that message, my first response was “No, no, I want to stay here!”
“I like it here. I do not want to have to go back and continue living that
life.” I was resisting, pleading, arguing. I did not want to agree with the
request. Then I heard the voice again. This time it said
“No, you have to return, you have a purpose.”
When I heard/felt, the second phrase, it was so loving, yet forceful that I
couldn’t argue with it. I understood the truth within it. When you are in the
light, it is very humbling. Suddenly I understood that I had to return to my
body and continue living my life. It was one of those circumstances when you
have a knowing or understanding that this is what is supposed to be. You may not
want to do it, which was clearly my case, yet, you can not argue with what is
supposed to be. I was quite content being in the light and happy to stay there.
Yet, the voice was like that of a mother or parent that is so full of love, I
just couldn’t say no.
Although we were still there in the sphere, the experiences of the life review
totally faded away. Until I came to that acceptance and knowing that I had to
return to my body, all of my Soul Group stayed with me. After my acceptance, all
but the original three melded back into the light.
BACK TO MY BODY ~
We were instantaneously transported back into the ocean. I became aware of my
body. Lifeless and suspended in the water, it was still being tumbled and
blasted by sand and sea. I was watching it without emotion, already longing to
return to the light. I did not want to return to my body. Separating from the
light and rejoining my body was the hardest thing I had ever been asked to do.
It was more painful than the act of drowning.
My body was still in a very bad breaker zone, being buffeted and wrapped by the
waves as it rolled around under the sea. The storm was so incredibly rough that
it caused a nice sloping sandy beach to erode into a 13 foot cliff. The sea
state was estimated somewhere between 25 and 30 feet.
Now, a sailor knows how to care for his lines. Ropes for you land lovers. One of
the things he will do to protect his line from fraying is to weave the ends back
into itself. This creates a knot called an end splice. If a line has one end
attached to a boat with the other end free, the free end is called the “bitter
end”.
Our Zodiac was an inflatable boat with four pontoons filled with air. All but
one of the pontoons had burst. The lines were loose and flailing around the
boat. Somehow my arm, in all that violence, had become tangled up in the one
pontoon that still had air. The bitter end was hitting my body in the chest.
When the next set of waves hit, the rope dislocated my shoulder and thumb as it
pulled my body to the surface.
The four of us watched as another wave hit my lifeless body against the pontoon.
Finally the waves hit my body against the pontoon with so much force that it
pushed some of the water out of the lungs. Simultaneously, my Soul Group gave me
a shove. I experienced a rushing vibration and was back in my body. I breathed
my first breath of air in a very long time.
My Soul group was gone, my lungs were on fire and my head was pounding. My body
felt so dense it was like frozen lead. I would have immediately slipped beneath
the surface again if I were not tangled up in the pontoon. I coughed, threw up
and tried to breathe again. The cold waves kept pounding me. I still kept being
pulled down. The longing I had felt when first leaving the light was now
intensified. When you return to life, you continue to have a longing to return
back to that light and love. Most people that have had a near death experience
will understand what I am trying to say. That longing starts the moment that you
return to your body. I have learned from other experiencer’s that we all share
this longing. So my first conscious thought after returning back to life was
“why do I have to live this life?”
At the same time, there was a nagging understanding that I needed to survive
resonating within. I kept questioning “Purpose? What Purpose? I have a Purpose?”
I just knew I needed to survive because there was some purpose.
Reconnecting with Ship Mates ~
As I was pondering my purpose, in the distance, I could hear my name being
shouted. My shipmates were looking for me. Somehow, they had all made it to the
surface safely. In all this chaos, someone had actually hung on to the
flashlight and they had all gathered around it. Now, they were looking for me. I
tried to yell to them, but it just came out like a squawk. They finally spotted
me and swam over. Still a mile off the coast, we all hung on to what was left of
the boat and began to kick and swim to shore. The waves were hitting us so
violently that it was an incredible fight.
Once I became untangled, I was still having trouble staying above the surface. I
kicked off my boots knowing that they had steel toes. I remember thinking,
“Damn, there goes 90 bucks and a new set of redwings!” It didn’t help.
It was then that I realized my life vest wasn’t any good. The funny thing was
that very experienced divers and seaman, under normal circumstances, would never
wear life vests. It was only because of the extremely rough weather that we went
down to the Boatswain’s locker and dusted off these old vests. My Mae West was
so old that the lining was rotted and shredded. The fiber filling had become
saturated with sea water. The US Coast Guard has since banned this floatation
devise, just because of this reason. It had gotten so full of water that it was
acting as an anchor, dragging me down. What was supposed to save me actually
killed me; only to be saved by the bitter end.
I threw off the vest and it sunk beneath the water, never to be seen
again! Once I could stay above the surface, it was easier for me to keep a hand
on the zodiac. I could then kick, swim and do my part to cover the mile between
us and the shore.
This was more than I could handle so I told every one that Neptune had
spit me back to make light of the situation. Eventually that connection with the
light faded as I tried to live my life. But I was changed and I knew I could not
tell anyone what I had experienced, (Especially the guys). They would think I
was nuts. So over time I repressed some of the near death experience.
if you are interested in what gifts I
received then read: Gifts
Revealed,
